How Many Ways To Say “You” in Vietnamese? -

In English, saying “you” is simple. Whether you’re talking to a child, a boss, or your best friend, it’s just you. But in Vietnamese? Saying “you” is an art form. A social dance. A sign of respect, closeness, age, and even gender. So… how many ways can you say “you” in Vietnamese? Let’s find out, and don’t worry, we’ll make it fun and friendly.

Why So Many “Yous”?

Vietnamese is a relational language. That means how you refer to others (and even yourself) depends on who you are, who they are, and how you relate to one another, in age, gender, social status, and context. Instead of one universal “you,” the Vietnamese use family terms (like “older brother” or “auntie”) to talk to strangers, friends, elders, basically everyone. It might sound complicated at first, but it helps build closeness and respect in everyday conversation.

Common Ways to Say “You”

Here are just a few examples, organized by who you’re talking to:

Vietnamese Word	Meaning (Literally)	Used When Speaking To…
bạn	friend	Same-age friends, peers
anh	older brother	Slightly older male
chị	older sister	Slightly older female
em	younger sibling	Someone younger than you
cô	aunt (dad’s side)	Older woman, often a teacher
chú	uncle (dad’s younger bro)	Older man, friendly tone
bác	older uncle/aunt	Elderly people
ông	grandfather	Very old man, or formal setting
bà	grandmother	Very old woman, or formal setting
mày	(informal)	Very close friends (can sound rude if used wrong)
cậu / con / cháu	child/nephew/grandchild	In super formal, polite, or family settings

Pro tip: In Vietnamese, “you” and “I” are often paired together. If you call someone anh, you call yourself em. If you say bác, you might say cháu. The way you refer to them affects how you refer to yourself.

Examples in Real Life

You meet a slightly older woman at a café → “Chị uống cà phê gì ạ?” (What would you like to drink, older sister?)
You talk to a younger colleague → “Em làm cái này giúp chị nhé?” (Can you do this for me, younger sibling?)
You chat with a Grab driver who looks around your dad’s age → “Chú biết đường này không ạ?” (Do you know this road, uncle?)

What If You’re Not Sure?

Great question. You have a few options:

Ask their age in a friendly way. Vietnamese people are used to it.
Default to “bạn” with same-age peers (it’s the safest bet).
Mirror what they call you, they’ll often lead the way.

Final Thoughts: It’s Not Just Language, It’s Culture

Learning all the ways to say “you” in Vietnamese isn’t just about grammar, but also about understanding how Vietnamese people connect, how they show respect, and how relationships are built through words. Yes, it takes a little time to get used to. But once you start noticing it, using it, and hearing people smile when you get it right, you’ll feel the heart of the language.

Practice Time!

Try this: The next time you meet a Vietnamese person, ask them politely: “Mình nên xưng hô thếnào nhỉ?” (“How should I address you?”). They’ll love that you care. And they’ll be happy to help. Curious about more quirks of Vietnamese? Check out our post on The Truth About Learning Vietnamese. Or follow us on Instagram @survival.vietnamese for daily tips!

Want to Start Learning Now?

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